What's Cookin?


Meth aka: Ice, Speed, Chalk, Crystal, Glass, Crank, Yaba, Fire, Tina, Tweak, Poor Man’s Cocaine, Uppers, Trash, Yellow Bam, Methlies Quick, Stovetop, Go-Fast is one of the most addictive substances that takes a mugshot from the more common angry/sad-I-just-got-arrested photo to “Whoah. What the fuuuuudge happened to their face?” Shortly, after the question, you come up with the conclusion that the criminal in question was in fact, addicted to Meth.

Unfortunately, the case is not the same for a house. After numerous meth tests, we have come to find that there is no “type” of home that is associated with meth labs or meth users. We’ve seen homes from all walks of life with high meth results: not so desirable neighborhoods to the ritziest of gated communities.

“Oh I know the house I’m buying doesn’t have meth. The sweetest old grandma has owned this house the entire time.” Riiight. So have you met her kids or grandkids? Are they super sweet too? Did Uncle Ed, the blacksheep of the family take one too many weekends in Grandma’s basement to get his act together? Or maybe he was helping some chemistry teacher and his ex-student with a place to crash while Grandma was on her yearly senior cruise to the Bahamas. You don’t know. How could you know?

Look, we hope that our tests comes back as a non-detect. We hope that Granny didn’t have an overly wild past. We don’t wish the neurological affects of second and third hand meth residue on anyone. Once meth has been cooked inside a structure, it will saturate walls, floors, ceilings and systems, deeming the home a “sick home”. The chemical fumes and meth vapors hitch a ride with the natural flow currents and can travel from one room to another, some traveling to the other side of the building via the HVAC duct system.

So do yourself, your family and your pets a favor with a little peace of mind by calling Watch Dogs Home Inspectors to book your meth test.